Laughter is Good Medicine

Brain Belches & Double Takes

I hate when I speak while my brain my brain is shut down!
We've all done it!!!!
Here's some examples!


My friend's husband had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told them that one of their problems was that they did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. They thought for a minute, and said that they had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." She responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two."
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My friend lives in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
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My friends' daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
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Friends were at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which she replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" The airport employee smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
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The stoplight on the corner in the city, buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. A friend was crossing with a coworker. She asked if he knew what the buzzer was for. He explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. She was shocked as she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
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I once worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. ________________________________________________________

When freinds arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, they were told the keys had been locked in it. They went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As they watched from the passenger side, they instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," they announced to the technician, "Its open!"
His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
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At the assisted living center where I work I had a call light go on. When I arrived I found the resident was struggling and struggling to get the foot to go up on her electric bed. She noted that not one of her buttons worked to move her electric bed. I pointed to the floor, "I guess we should plug it in." We both belly laughed.

Think on what is good, and lovely and kind. Don't forget to laugh at yourself.